Sally is a major character in Me and My Dick. She is a geeky teenage girl who displays unrequited love for Joey. She is portrayed by Jaime Lyn Beatty.


  • "This is way too overwhelming for a Tuesday!"
  • "...and it's only when the silver and the nitrogen find all three oxygen molecules that they're able to solve the case!!!"
  • "When I say I love you, I want to say something more. What I’m trying to say is ‘I like you’ and everything you felt for Vanessa, I felt for you too except you got your heart broken just once. I get mine broke every day, every time you don’t look at me the same way I look at you. And I know this ruins everything and I know this makes thinks awkward… I mean, we’re supposed to be friends and, I mean, is it selfish of me to want more than that? I want all of you, Joey Richter, and all I have to give in return is myself. I wish I could give you more. I’m sorry.”
  • "I want to have Carribean study with you!"
  • "Sally's Heart: You keep eating until you're as fat as you are ugly!

Sally: That'll take forever!"